


Take Me Home

by bucky_barnes481



Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Friendship, Chaptered, Cute, Cute Kids, Family Fluff, Fluff, I don't know where this is going but I like it, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Stucky - Freeform, maybe some angst later, stupid proud
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-09
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-19 21:24:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4761569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bucky_barnes481/pseuds/bucky_barnes481
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Single dads Steve and Bucky. That's about all I know here so learn with me!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Off_to_Neverland](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Off_to_Neverland/gifts).



“Princess, are you ready for school?” James, better known as Bucky, called out to the four year old sitting on the couch with her head on the arm of the couch. It was an early start to the day, he understood that but this was just her being over dramatic. Just how she was. After not hearing anything or seeing any movement from her he went over to the couch. As expected she was ignoring him. “Sarah Rose.”

 “I dun wanna, Daddy.” she pouted. The black hair that was in a braid was pulled to her mouth in the typical I don’t want to talk about it daddy action she did. He took the black hair out of her mouth and picked her up. He’d have glitter on him from the dress but he could live with the blue glitter.

 Taking her out the front door he grabbed her backpack and his bag with the other arm. There were perks to being ex military. He had been discharged about nine months ago when it was decided he couldn’t go back out there. His new arm was one of the new Stark prosthetics that attached to the former nervous system. Worked just like his old arm had just about ten times stronger. The only real downside to it was it was shiny new metal. The skin cover hadn’t been made when the arm came in. Seeing as they were new production Stark was there in person to help attach the arm and make sure it worked. Sarah got to meet Stark that day and ask him all sorts of questions. Left Bucky apologizing after every question but the man took it in stride.

 Bucky placed her in her Elsa car seat that sang let it go every time Sarah pressed the button on the side. Worst. Gift. Ever. In-Laws from hell was what they were. Loved to torture him even after the divorce. One year of marriage was all it took for Bucky to come to the conclusion that she was not as amazing as she was when she was patching him up in the field. Not nearly as great once married and she has the silhouette of a whale. Nor did she appreciate his humor as much after marriage. So the carseat was just a reminder that Sarah’s grandparents on her mother’s side hated him.

 He got her into the car seat and placed the bags next to her. “Daddy I dun wanna go!” She huffed while crossing her arms.

 “Daddy has school too today too, so you have to go. It will be fun and I’ll pick you up at 2:30.” He kissed her cheek before climbing into the driver’s side. “What music should we play?”

Unlike most parents Bucky didn’t have the typical child CDs that other parents had. He was raised on classic rock and that was how he was raising his daughter. Minus the occasional ballad of disney songs. “Daddy play Mulan?”

 “Mulan it is.” He shuffled through the CDs and put it into the slot.

 As soon as the songs came on she started to sing along. “Daddy you sing too!” That was his cue to start singing along with her on the way to the school. Thankfully his school was just across the way from her’s meaning any issue that could arise he would be close.

 Once there he got out and put her little backpack on even if looked like it dwarfed her in size. It had snuggly (the blanket he got her when she was born), and a list of what she was allergic to inside, and along with a change of clothes just in case. Taking her to the door he kissed her cheek then sent her into class. Bucky himself was running late to is own class.

 He ended up two minutes early to his class and found a seat. Anatomy 101 always a great class to start off with. Bucky was going for his nursing degree to try and get a steady job back on base a nurse. You can force the man out of the army but he wasn’t really ready to give up just yet.

 That was until he started to get a call. Just about noon and he was ending the class thankfully. He left the room and called the school back. “Sorry I missed your call, I was in class. Is Sarah okay?” He asked as he headed back to the car.

 “Mr. Barnes, Sarah bit another student today during lunch.”

 He let out a sigh. “Okay, what do I do now?”

 “We arranged a meeting with the child’s parent. Are you able to come in today after school?”

“Yes. I’ll be free after school. Thank you for the call.” He said his goodbyes before heading out to grab himself some lunch. Today was going to a longer day at this point.


	2. Chapter 2

At 2:30 Bucky made his way to the school and the meeting that was to follow. First day of school and she was already the child that bit another student. How did this happen? He had been working on her small temper and the desire to end every fight with a bite. That was something he had told her not to do leading up to school starting. Clearly that didn’t work to well considering first day. Really, Bucky was doing his best here, but it was just hard at times. What single parent had the world under control? No, really he needed this answer. 

Entering the school he was met by the principal of the pre-school with Sarah in tow. She had her black hair in her mouth as she came and hugged his leg. He picked her up and kissed her cheek. “Sarah, why did you bite someone today?” He asked softly. 

“I got mad at him Daddy.” She sniffled in her close to tears don’t be upset at me face. 

“Dry it up, you know that only works on your mommy.” Tears didn’t work. This was one reason he hated the dual custody right now. He wanted full custody over his daughter rather than the weekend with her mother. The only reason he had her now was the school was in his area. If that wasn’t the case he’d be the weekend visit. She gave one last sniffle before pouting. “Now why did you bite him?”

The principal lead them towards the classroom where he saw the father of what he could imagine the child Sarah bit. He was watching the boy play and smiling but there was very little light to his eyes. Bucky knew that look. He saw it in the wives and husbands he had met that had lost their significant other in the war. Staying strong for their kids, but the smile never was in their eyes. He only compared it to that as the man was dressed in uniform. From the looks he was a recruiter, taking a step back from active duty to take care of his little one. 

“Daddy that girl bit me!” The boy pointed at Sarah in Bucky’s arms.

The man turned to face Bucky letting the former soldier see his face fully. Rogers was his last name. Bucky first noticed the blue eyes of the man. They were dull with a lack of enjoyment. The next thing Bucky took note of was the rank. He was a Colonel. Alright, well with that he knew that Rogers was ranked above him. 

“Daddy that boy kicked me!” Sarah huffed at Bucky as he put her down. 

“I’m sorry about this,” both parents said to each other at the same time. Bucky could hear the other man’s voice dragging as if he wasn’t sleeping well. The first few months back from overseas he knew he sounded like that. Just a ghost in the shell of what he was before he left for war. War was relative here, he knew that all battles were not always fought as a team. From the sound of it, he knew that Rogers was fighting a battle all on his own. 

The principal waved him to take a seat, which he did. Stupid tiny chairs. He wasn’t meant to sit in chairs made for a four year old. He struggled to get as comfortable as he could get. “Mr. Rogers and Mr. Barnes, you’re children did get into a disagreement here today. Sarah bit Ian and Ian kicked her. The argument was over the army men.” Both parents let out a mixed sigh with a moan. “I take it you both knew about their love for the toys?” 

“Sarah, has a whole box at home, she plays with them and the barbies.” Bucky sighed. “Her mother and I were in the army. It was her way of coping while I was deployed.” He moved his silver arm to point it out. “Came home she took the arms off most of her dolls so I wouldn’t feel bad not having an arm.” 

“Ian loves playing with them, always has. His mother…” Steve took a pause while he swallowed thickly, “she died about a year ago now. She always gave him the army men to play with on base.” Bucky noticed that he touched his ring finger on his left hand where the ring used to be. There was a tan line from where a ring used to sit against the skin. 

The principal just nodded. “I understand you are both military men, but we can’t have students resorting to physical violence. The teachers and I agreed that we should set some time aside where your children can play together alone. We recommend you both meet outside the school to try and get them to learn to play together.” There was a nod from both father’s. “Thank you for understanding. The extra time will be from 2:30 to 3 every Thursday. Is that okay?” 

“I have class till two on Thursdays, if I’m late, I’m sorry.” The principal gave a little nod. 

She got up from the desk she was at. “Thank you both for understanding. If you have any questions feel free to email me.” With that she left the room. 

Bucky looked at the other parent in the room. He offered his flesh and blood hand to the other. “James Barnes, most call me Bucky. Former Staff Sergeant in the Army.” 

Steve took his hand to shake it with a small smile on his face. “Steve Rogers, Colonel, current recruiter for this area. Sorry about Ian. He’s been having a hard time without his mother.” 

Bucky took his hand back and nodded. “I understand. Sarah has a temper that we are working on. Since her mother has partial custody over her I’m not always in charge. Working on the temper though.” 

Steve gave a little nod. “I should give you my number for these out of school meetings.” He took a card out of his pocket and a pen. He wrote down the correct number on the back. “This is my cell, the number on the front goes to the office.” 

Bucky “borrowed” a sticky note from the teacher’s desk and wrote down his cell number. “This is my cell. I am not likely to answer till noon on Monday and Wednesday. Class lets out then.” He handed it to him while taking the card. 

Steve got up and went over to Ian. Bucky followed and bent down to be at Sarah’s level. “Say sorry to her, Ian.” Steve told Ian. Bucky told Sarah to say sorry to Ian, as well. With a huff they both apologized for their actions. “Sorry again, James. Talk to you later.” 

Steve led Ian out of the room, leaving Bucky with Sarah. He picked her up and got her bag taking them out ot the car. Buckling her in and getting in himself they were off towards home. 

He wanted to get to know the other dad. Why? Well that he wasn’t sure on, he just felt a pull to get to know him. It was probably the eyes. Had to be those eyes that drew him in.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is just a fun texting between the two boys. Fun have and fun to do. Just a little break of cute before I go on.

SR Monday 14:22: Hey, James. I can’t make it out for the play date today.  
Work is sort of killing me with paperwork…

BB 14:24: Don’t worry about it. I have about a mountain  
of homework for anatomy class.

SR 14:36: Alright, what day is good for you?

BB 14:40: Wednesday work?

SR 14:42: Nope. Ian has karate that day. Thursday?

BB 14:43: Sarah has dance. 

SR 15:00: Okay this weekend? 

BB 15:02: Can’t. She goes back to her mom’s this weekend.  
She won’t be back till about 1800 if I’m lucky on Sunday.  
She loves to be late so who knows. 

SR 15:05: Okay, so what do we do? 

BB 15:06: Wonder what the teacher was thinking for this. 

SR 15:14: Yeah. I’ll let you know if things change. 

BB 15:20: Look, this might be weird. But ah, have dinner  
at my house sometime? 

BB 17:45: Uh did I scare you off? 

SR 17:45: No you didn’t. When is dinner? 

BB 17:47: Dinner is at 16:30 most of the time. Thursday is taco night. 

SR 17: 47: We’ll be there. Just text me your address. 

BB 17:48: 259 18th Street. 

**

SR Thursday 12:02: James, do I ah need to bring anything to dinner? 

BB: 13:00: Sorry, was in class. No, but are you or Ian allergic to anything?  
Kinda don’t want to kill anyone at dinner. 

SR 13:05: Nope, we are good. Killing people is bad at any time, James. 

BB 13:06: Rogers, there is a time and a place for everything.

SR 13: 08: You can call me Steve you know? 

BB 13:08: And you can call me Bucky. 

SR 13:10: Alright, Bucky. See you at dinner.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am terribly sorry it took forever and a day to update this. I'm trying to get back into it! I'm horrible I know but I am trying!

Inside home 249 18th street the two members and their dog were busy making dinner. Sarah was setting the table in the way that her father had showed her. Plate in the middle, spoon and knife together on the right side and fork on the left side of the plate. A napkin in the the middle on the plate. Being nothing fancy, having lost all the good china (china he ever understood and thought hideous so really no complaints), he had her set out the various plates they did have. Most had disney on them somewhere, the bigger plates had various themed movies on them. From what Bucky could tell they had Elsa, Simba, Pacific Rim, and Harry Potter out as plates. When you live with a four year old it is just easier to have plastic everything. 

Bucky was at the stove finishing the meat for the meal. He had Sarah shred the cheese and put it on a bowl. The lettuce was still in the fridge. He had beans and tomatoes. Over all taco night was seemingly going alright so far. Nothing had set the fire alarm off. 

At about fifteen past six there was the doorbell that set off the dog. “Daddy I got Scout!” Sarah shouted at him as she got hold of his collar. The golden retriever was bigger and able to get away but didn’t tug with her. 

Taking everything off the heat he weaved his way between his child and the door to open it. There was Ian on top of Steve’s shoulders. Bucky gave a smile and waved them in. “Dinner is almost done, just have to get drinks and put it on the table. Sarah will you show them where the table is?” 

“Yeah, but I can’t set up the baby gate.” 

“I can do that.” Steve smiled at him before putting Ian down. “Where is the bathroom so Ian can wash his hands?” 

“Down the hall, first door on your left. You’ll have to go through the master bedroom as the guest bath is not working.” Bucky looked at Sarah with a you know what you did face. “Someone flushed a barbie head.So turned off the water in there.” 

“Scout did it!” Was the response that was said. 

Steve guided Ian to the bathroom while Bucky finished up the meal for tonight. 

The actual dinner part was rather uneventful. Awkward painful small talk. Bucky picked up on the no life in his eyes quickly. Steve noticed the little tick bucky had when waiting to speak. After about an hour everything was put away and the kids were off playing. Bucky let them go play with the dog not thinking much of it. Steve and him just did the small talk grown up seemed to always do.

That was till Scout came in with paint all over his fur. “Sarah Jane Barnes!” Bucky shouted after the now colorful pup came to him. “Front and center!” 

From around the corner the two children came out with paint on their hands and clothes. Sarah had her head down and her hands behind her back. Ian looked just as ashamed for the task as she did. Bucky stood up and made the pup sit down so paint didn’t get everywhere. He looked back at Steve to ask if he could also remermand his child as well. Steve gave a little nod to him. That was all Bucky needed. 

“Do we paint Scout?”

Bucky’s little one kept her head down. Her foot digging into the carpet with her toes. “No, Daddy…” 

“Then why did we paint him tonight?”

“‘Cause…” He say her thinking. He knew the next words were probably going to be the exaggerated truth. They always were. “ian and I wanted to do war paint on Scout, but we didn’t have camo colors.” 

“Ian, is that true?” Bucky turned his attention to the little boy. He wasn’t looking at him or his father at this point. Just at his hands and occasionally Sarah. 

There was a long pause before the boy spoke up. “Yes sir.”

“Sarah you know what happens. You have to clean your mess now and you don’t get your extra time for TV tonight. Put your clothes in the wash room so I can put stain remover on it when you change.” He bent down to be at her level. “Understand?” She gave a little nod. “You know Daddy loves you?” Again she nodded. “Are you going to paint Scout again?”

“No sir. I gots to clean him too? He’s wiggly in the bath.” 

“No, baby I’ll wash Scout.” He turned to Ian. “You helped make the mess, you help Sarah clean it up. The rest is up to your daddy. Do we paint the dog?” 

“No sir.” 

“Good. Go clean up your mess then please.” 

The two kids went to the room to pick up. Scout sat there covered in paint wagging his tail. Bucky sighed at the dog. Least it was non toxic paint. He had that going for him at least. That and it was the washable kind. He should maybe only be slightly stained to have various colors of polka dots. Which would just give him character. 

Bucky took him by the collar with his good arm and started to walk him to the tub. What he didn’t expect was another body to follow him. “You didn’t yell.” That was Steve. He rolled up his sleeves and helped get scout into the tub and keep him there. “I’m impressed.”

The water started and that was when the dog seemed to get more than happy to leave the tub. It took the two of them holding the pup down to keep him in the tub. Both of them trying to get the dog clean took more effort on Steve’s part than Bucky’s. Steve had ended up in the tub to keep Scout there. Bucky had dog shampoo up to his upper arm. The metal arm was not really agreeing with the water here causing some sharp pain. This event caused both of them to end up soaked. Steve’s blond hair was clinging to his head but Bucky noticed his eyes. Those blue eyes held some life to them. Granted that life was from him laughing as he was knocked down into the tub and the dog running out bathroom door. 

After getting the dog back in the bathroom to dry off things went a little more smoothly. “You look like a drowned rat, Bucky.” Steve chuckled still in the bathtub. 

“Me? Have you seen yourself? You’re the one still in the tub not me.” 

“Your arm, is it okay?” Bucky was trying to dry it off with the hair dryer on low as he talked. 

“It will be once I get it dry.” He looked over at him. “I have clothes you can borrow if you want. So you aren’t leaving in wet clothing.” 

“Thanks.” 

The rest of the night was spent relaxing till Steve took his leave with Ian. The painfully awkward small talk was gone. They were actually talking like two normal human beings. The night wrapped up easily for the two adults. Something they both needed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky faces his own demons in a PTSD attack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed Zane's name to Ian. I decided that didn't seem like a name that Steve would give his child.

Bucky Barnes had never actually done well during storms. Actually as a child he had spent many nights curled up in his parents bedroom terrified of the storms that were happening. For a while he had grown out of such childish things, having found ways to cope with the storms. He had headphones that he wore most of the time that canceled out the sound of the storm. Then he grew out of needed such things in his early twenties when he was first deployed. Storms were a silly thing to be afraid of but for the man with the missing arm it was part of life. 

It had been a few months of talking with Steve and meeting up every tuesday when this storm hit. It started with little warning. Bucky had made a ritual of checking the weather while he took his nightly smoke after Sarah went to bed. Typically he knew when it was going to rain and had his headphones that plugged into his phone to at least block some of the sound out. Tonight however was one of those nights where the storm had no warning. 

The first clap of thunder jolted him away from the light sleep he was in. However it wasn’t his four walled bedroom that he woke up in. What Bucky was seeing was the barracks he was in overseas the night he lost his arm. The one clap of thunder was enough to jolt him into a PTSD attack, but it was the sirens that started the full on effect. The sirens telling the world outside what he was seeing that this storm was going to bring severe weather and to stay away from the windows. Which wasn’t what Bucky was hearing. He was hearing the sirens that the camp he was at was under attack and to get up and moving. Two very different worlds were happening in the one bedroom, one real and one fake. The only difference here was that for the soldier in the room he couldn’t piece together that what he was seeing was the fake world. 

It hadn’t registered with him yet but he was shouting orders to the ghosts of his past, loud enough to where it woke his sleeping daughter. It wasn’t the first time she had seen her daddy in an attack, but this was the first time she didn’t have her mother there to bring Bucky back to reality. 

She slid out of her bed as soon as the sirens stopped. Slowly she opened her door to peek out, seeing if he was in the hallway. She went back for her bear holding him in her arms. He always made her feel better, why wouldn’t it make Bucky feel better too. “Mommy always said no loud sounds, don’t touch him, don’t be scared.” She muttered to herself and the bear in her arms. “Got to get Daddy’s phone.” She held the bear close and started to walk towards the room where orders were being shouted. “Don’t be scared. Daddy has an owie in his head.” 

Slowly she made her way down the hall, standing at the door looking at the knob. Slowly she opened the door and peeked inside. At first she didn’t see him. Then she saw him in the master bathroom turned around. “We have to get them out!” Bucky shouted to his own reflection in the mirror. 

Sarah bolted into his room going his nightstand where his phone was. Quickly she grabbed it and left the room, getting outside the war zone that was the bedroom. 

Now was the hard part. Who did she call? She opened his phone and went to the contacts. What it was on was recent calls. It seemed like the best place to be so she pressed the first number on the list and held the phone up to her ear. 

Just across town a restless sleeper’s phone went off. The soft intermetal tone waking him from his sleep. Storms and loud sounds like sirens didn’t have the same effect on him as it did Bucky. His own triggers were much more specific to what had happened long before he ever thought that he’d get a call this late at night. With a groan he rolled over and answered the phone without opening his eyes. “This is Rogers.” he muttered into the phone. 

“Mr. Rogers…” the small voice of Sarah rang out into his ear. That seemed to be enough to wake him fully, as he sat up in bed. 

“What is it Sarah? Is something wrong?” His voice stayed calm despite the inner panic he was facing. 

“Daddy is having a bad dream but he’s awake. I dunno what to do.” 

PTSD. Right. Thoughts ran through his head and he sighed softly. “Are you away from your daddy? Are you safe?” 

“Yeahs.” 

“Okay, what I want you to do is stay in the living room with Scout. I’ll be over soon okay? Can you do that for me Sarah?” 

“Okay.” He heard her get up and the shuffling of her getting onto the couch. 

“It’s going to be okay Sarah, I promise. Just stay put and I’ll be there soon.” 

“Okay.” 

He hung up the phone and got up. He tossed on a shirt and shoes before going to Ian’s room and scooping the sleeping child up. He had his little plush jellyfish in his hands. Ian stirred a little in his sleep but nothing more than that. Steve buckled him into his car seat and got in. He headed that way, thankfully it wasn’t too far. The storm outside raging as he drove as carefully as he could. His own demons trying to sneak out with the wind but there was someone that needed him. A little girl and the man who was drawing him out of his shell. They needed him in his right mind. 

“Daddy, where we at?” the sleepy voice of Ian came from the back seat. That was helpful for Steve. 

He kept his eyes on the road but smiled faintly. “We have to go see Bucky and Sarah.” 

Ian shifted in his seat. “They okay?”

“Bucky is having a bad dream and he needs my help to get out of it.” 

Ian seemed to understand as he held onto his Jellyfish. Soon enough they had arrived at the house. Steve got Ian out and rushed to the door trying to stay dry. He knocked on the door alerting the waiting Sarah he had arrived. She rushed over to open the door letting him. Once they were inside Ian was put down and Steve headed for the room. 

He heard the shouting from the room, his hand resting on the door handle. Taking a deep breath he entered.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I regret nothing about this...

Steve entered the room seeing the signs of what he expected. Pillows up in a wall, sheets a mess, and then there was Bucky against the wall. There wasn’t much to do to pull him out of something this deep. He was quick to go into playing with what he could see from him. However he was going to pull rank here. He had to or this could get bad for both of them. Which meant he had to go press himself against the wall near Bucky. “Barnes, what’s going on?” He asked in the stern army voice he had. 

Blue eyes shot over to him. For a moment Steve saw the confusion in his eyes. That little draw back to the real world. That was what he needed. That little break into the real world. Steve kept his eyes on the soldier who was pressed against the wall. “Soldier what is going on?” he barked. 

In that moment Bucky slid down the wall screaming. Perhaps barking hadn’t been the best method here. “I...I tried to get them...the IED...I can’t…” Bucky whined from where he was. His good hand clawing at the metal arm that now sat where Steve was sure this came from. This whole scene playing out was what was happening the night he lost his arm. 

Steve slid down the wall with him. “You did good soldier, but you have to come back to me.” Steve moved to be in front of him, moving Bucky’s hand away from the metal arm. “It’s time to come home. You hear me?” Bucky tried to fight him with his arm but gave up after a moment. Blue eyes met Steve’s looking at him really for the first time. The first break into reality he had since this started. “Soldier answer me.” 

He nodded a little. “I need...a medic. It hurts...so bad.” Bucky went back to clawing at the metal arm before Steve moved his hand away again. 

Steve kept his arms pinned against the wall which meant he was practically in Bucky’s lap to keep him still. “Focus on my voice. Can you do that?” There was a little nod. He had that at least. “There is a medic coming, but you have to stay with me Barnes. You have to come back home. There is a little girl that needs you. She needs you to come back to her. She’s brave but she needs her daddy because every little girl needs their daddy.” 

“Sarah...no she...no.” He muttered shaking his head. “Where is she? She shouldn’t be out here.” 

Steve moved him from the wall to the ground to keep him pinned. He had his arms pinned at either side of his head as he sat on his stomach, using his legs to keep the other pinned to the ground. “She is home, you have to come back home. She’s waiting for you at home. Just come home, soldier. That is all you have to do.” 

For the next ten minutes Steve had Bucky pinned to the floor. Every so often he would thrash to get Steve off of him but Steve held him steady. Out in the livingroom the dog was whining before finally breaking free from the gate and getting into the bedroom. Steve felt the dog move to lay beside him, pressing his cold nose against Bucky’s cheek. Steve didn’t see a vest on the dog at any point in time but he figured this wasn’t the first time that the dog had done this. Scout kept his nose pressed against the cheek of his owner. 

Eventually Bucky started to blink, looking up at Steve. For a moment he kept his eyes locked on the other. Then he looked around his room seeing the mess he had created. Then he looked back at the man who still had him pinned. “Steve…” Steve lifted his arms and sat back on him. Bucky sat up with Steve still in his lap resting his head against his shoulder. “I’m so sorry.” 

Steve wrapped his arms around him. “It’s fine.” He sighed against him. “You’re back, didn’t harm anyone or anything. You did good soldier.” Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve’s waist and nodded against him. “Sarah called me. I think they our kids crashed on the couch together. Let me know when you are ready to get up.”

Bucky took a moment to center himself before letting him go. Steve got up, holding an arm out for him, pulling him up to stand. “I think a serves dog would be good for you, Buck.” 

“Probably so.” Bucky sighed. “You going to head back home?” No part of Bucky wanted him to go. This man had pulled him out of an attack and in truth he was afraid it would happen again. He was already on the brink with the weather, he didn’t want to risk putting himself through another. No part of Bucky wanted him to leave his side tonight. Which was a relief when the the other said he wasn’t going home. “Okay, let’s get our kiddos.” 

The two men went out into the living room to see both of them asleep on the couch. Bucky picked up Sarah rocking her to keep her asleep. Steve picked up his son, grabbing the jellyfish that fell out of his hand. The two men put them down in Sarah’s room, each one giving their child a kiss before leaving the room. Bucky shut the door leaving a little crack open for them. 

There wasn’t much thought in it, Steve just headed back to the master bedroom and started to sort the sheets on the bed. Bucky followed helping him get the bed back in order. It was about two in the morning when bucky glanced at his clock. They could talk about this in the morning. Whatever this was that is. Steve slipped off his shirt and put it in the chair in the room. It was the first real glance Bucky got at the other man. The scars that littered his chest caught his eye. There was one however he knew he’d have to ask about at a later date. There was a scar that was jagged around heart, almost as if someone had tried to cut it out at one point. Bucky had to pause to wonder what had he been through? What hell had this man survived? 

Steve crawled into the bed and looked over at him. “Get in bed.” Bucky blinked a little and gave a shrug. “It always helped me after an attack to have a warm body next to me, figured it would help you too.” 

Right that was the reason, Bucky understood that. The dark haired soldier slipped the shirt he had on off, his own scars showing. The worst at the arm where they trailed over his shoulder and towards his neck. Over his heart was a set of numbers, looked like latitude and longitude numbers. Over his left hip was a small little footprint that was his daughter’s foot print. He climbed onto his side of the bed reaching over to turn off the lamp lighting up the room. “I think I’m taking the day off tomorrow.” Bucky said to the man next to him. 

“Should come with me up to the base, keep you busy while the kids are at school.”

“Thanks Steve.”

“Don’t mention it.” 

There was a long pause in the room, only the sound of the fan and breathing filling the air. Could have passed for everyone being asleep. “Where the hell do those coordinates go?” Steve asked suddenly. 

“Home.” What he hadn’t said was that home a cemetery stone. His mother’s to be exact. She had always been his home and now she was gone. “Night Steve.” 

With that he rolled over onto his side facing away from Steve to fall asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT POSTING IN AGES! Forgive me for that. This chapter is the morning time after the ptsd episode.

Morning came with the beeping of the alarms from both phones in the room. The scene before that happened to be Bucky tangled in a pile of limbs with Steve. Both reaching for the wrong phone to turn off the alarm. Sleepy eyed soldiers starting to wake up. The first one to realize that the phone in his hand wasn’t his was Bucky. When the thumbprint wasn’t working it suddenly became apparent that the phone in his hand wasn’t his own. It was shortly after he took note that he was on top of someone. A very attractive someone. Rogers. 

Upon learning he was on top of Steve he slid off of him, putting the phone on his chest. His fingers brushing the scars. That was the best nights sleep he had gotten since the divorce. Blue eyes looked up the body resting in his bed as it was still waking up. Shit. Fuck. Shit. Those were the thoughts running through Bucky’s head as he looked up at Steve meeting his eyes. 

He was trying to unlock Bucky’s phone. “Come on, unlock you stupid thing.” He muttered at the incorrect phone. Bucky couldn’t help but smile. 

“Here, let me help with that.” He took the phone out of his hand replacing it with Steve’s phone. “There, that should help.” 

Blinking he rubbed his eyes. “Oh, thanks.” It was around that time that Steve looked up at Bucky for the first time since they woke up. “How are you feeling?” 

Bucky laid back down on his own pillow. How was he feeling? He hadn’t even thought about it yet. His metal arm reached up to run through his hair. “Mouth tastes like copper. Guess the best word to explain it in a whole is haunted. Thank you for everything.” 

Steve was going to reply but the bedroom door flew open. Two children ran into the room and pounced their parents on the bed. Sarah smiled at Bucky, climbing into his lap as he sat up. Ian crawled up and smiled at Steve. “Daddy, do you like Mr. Rogers?” Sarah asked, looking up at him. “‘Cause I like him a lot and he’s really nice. And you’re sleeping with him now so you have to like him.” Child logic. 

Bucky sighed a little. However it was Steve that answered her. “Sarah, I was making sure he didn’t have another bad dream.” He said it softly. Ian was not a morning person and it was clear that Sarah woke him up. The toddler starting to fall back asleep on Steve’s chest. 

It seemed good enough for now at least. Bucky sighed and got up out of bed. “Sarah, go get what you want for breakfast down please.” Heading into the bathroom he went to his closet and pulled on a shirt. He caught a glance of himself in the mirror, his hair a mess and looking dead on his feet. He had slept with Steve and had slept but that wasn’t enough, not after an attack, to look alive. Heading out again he looked over at the now empty side of the bed. Steve was standing with Ian in his arms. “I have some shirts if you want to put on a fresh one.” 

“Thanks.” Steve paused for a moment. “Will you take Ian so I can change?” 

Bucky nodded taking the still tired toddler in his arms. Rocking him he took him out to the kitchen where Sarah was with her bowl and lucky charms box at the ready. Using one hand he poured the cereal and then the milk. Handing it to her he got a bowl down for Ian. “You like lucky charms?” he asked the boy who was watching his every move. 

“Daddy said I can’t have it. Got bad stuff in it that makes me itchy.” He responded. “I like Cheerios.” 

The former soldier nodded. “Well lucky for you, I like them too.” He got the box down then poured two bowls for them both. “Do you like anything in yours?” 

“Honey.” 

Bucky smiled and added some to it. Taking him to the table he sat him down then got his bowl. “Here you go, bud.” He went back to get his own. There standing in the doorway was Steve, watching.

“He doesn’t do that ever. He must like you.” Steve moved around to get his own breakfast. Bucky added a banana to his own before going to sit down with the kids. Steve joined him after the fact.


	8. Chapter 8

In a blink of an eye it seemed like they were already at Christmas time. The months had gone by. Steve came over for dinner every Thursday. Then Bucky would go over every Tuesday to Steve’s home. Often enough one would spend the night at each other’s house. It was something that just made life simple for them. The kids got along now. Yet they still met every Tuesday to just catch up if they weren’t together. More often than not they were. 

Now to say there weren’t budding feelings would be wrong. At least Bucky was feeling things towards Steve. He hadn’t yet said anything. More than once over the past few months he had found himself thinking about Steve when he wasn’t around. He couldn’t help it. Those damn blue eyes of his were easy to get lost in. But he just tried to ignore it as there was no way Steve would want to date him. He lost his wife which was hard. Let alone he wasn’t a woman at all. It was just not going to happen. 

Now it was the party at the school and Bucky was in charge of snacks. He set up the table with all the food from the different families. His metal arm had magnet fairy lights clipped onto it for the holiday party. They changed colors from red, green, to white. Bucky had a shirt with a tree on it, but nothing too exciting. Other parents just came in ugly sweaters but bucky didn’t own one. 

Off to the side was Steve, in his ugly sweater that looked like an elf threw up on it. He was watching the snow ball throw. It was just a white ball that was being tossed at a few blocks. When no kids were at the game Steve made his way over to Bucky’s table. 

“Having fun?” Steve smiled at the other man. Taking a cup he got some of the water that was placed out. 

Bucky nodded. “I am. How about you?” 

Steve laughed a little. “I’ve been hit by that ball six times now. Four year olds have either really good aim and want to hit me or just terrible aim.” He didn’t mind being hit, it was always just a shock how hard a child could throw. “I’m glad we get to do this though. Christmas is a little hard at times. Without the wife, she was the one who planned it all for Ian.” 

“How about you and I have it for our kids? Sarah is with me this year.” He smiled at him. 

“I think that would be a nice change.” Steve smiled at him. Bucky took a moment to look at the smile and fall into it. 

Bucky took a cup and took a sip of the water. “It’s a date then.” Bucky stated before pausing. He had said date. They hadn’t even talked about such things. “I mean...it doesn’t….it is just..” 

Steve moved over and kissed his cheek softly. “It’s a date.” Bucky froze in his spot. Steve smiled and moved back to the game that he was supposed to be watching. 

For a while Bucky just looked at the snacks and kept handing them out. His mind was reeling about what just happened. He had been kissed on the cheek. It was a date. Steve must have feelings for him then. Right? He didn’t dare ask afraid of the answer. He wasn’t sure he’d like the answer at all.

**Author's Note:**

> This was an idea I had on the way to school and thought it was adorable. With the help from my best friend/other half the idea formed into this. This is just the start and I imagine more chapters. Please leave me a comment to tell me if you like the idea or not. I don't have a beta reader so as I re-read myself I'll fix things.


End file.
